"-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN"
"http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd"> Jokes
An explorer is walking down a path in the jungle when he suddenly finds himself surrounded by cannibals.
"That’s it," he says.
"I’m screwed."
Things you don't want to hear during surgery:

"Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy."
"Someone call the janitor and tell him to bring a mop."
"Wait a minute. If this is his spleen, what's that?"
"Hand me that... uh... that uh... thingie."
"Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?"
"Rats, there go the lights again..."
"Ya know, there's big money in kidneys. Heck, the guy's got two of 'em!"
"Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lenses."
"Could you stop that thing from beeping? It's throwing off my concentration!"
"What's this doing here?"
"That's cool! Now can you make his leg twitch?!"
"I should have brought my glasses."
"Well, folks, this will be an experiment for all of us."
"Sterile, shcmeril. The floor's pretty clean, right?"
"Anyone see where I left that scalpel?"
"Okay, now take a picture from this angle. This is truly a freak of nature."
"Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donation card?"
"Don't worry. I think it's sharp enough."
"She's gonna blow! Everyone take cover!"
"Rats! Page 47 of the manual is missing!"
"FIRE! FIRE! Everybody out!"
"Max! MAX! Come back with that! Bad Dog!"
"And now, I'll remove the subject's brain and place it in the body of the ape."
"Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness!"
"Not bad for someone who failed med school."
"What do you mean he wasn't in for a sex change?"