Písničky a humor

♫ Staré české a jiné písničky a humor ♫

Sting (from a 1993 promotional interview): "I wanted to write about a card player, a gambler who gambles not to win but to try and figure out something; to figure out some kind of mystical logic in luck, or chance; some kind of scientific, almost religious law. So this guy's a philosopher, he's not playing for respect and he's not playing for money, he's just trying to figure out the law - there has to be some logic to it. He's a poker player so it's not easy for him to express his emotions, in fact he doesn't express anything, he has a mask, and it's just one mask and it never changes."

Teresa Brewera Dixieland All-Stars: Music Music Music (složili Stephen Weiss a Bernie Baum, 1949)
Paul and Paula: Hey Paula (složil Ray Hildebrand, 1963)
Harry Nilsson: Everybody's talking (složil Fred Neil, 1969)
The Seekers: I'll never find another you (1964)
The Seekers: I'll never find another you (12')
The Seekers: A world of our own (1965)
The Seekers: Georgy girl (1967)
Клён ты мой опавший... Cybill Shepherd: Blue Moon (1986) Boogie Woogie) The Andrew Sisters: Beer Barrel Polka (hudba Jaromír Vejvoda)
Karel Gott: Škoda lásky (1978)
The Andrew Sisters: Bei mir bist du shein (1973)
Budapest Klezmer Band: Bei mir bist du schejn - yiddish version
The Hot Sardines: Bei mir bist du shein (2014)
The Airlettes: Bei mir bist du schön (2014)
Max Raabes: Bei mir bist du schön (2012)
The Hot Sardines: It had to be you (2015)
The Hot Sardines (Miz Elizabeth and Alan Cumming): When I get low I get high (2016)
The Speakeasy Three (Francesca Kennedy, Ariella Steinberg, Nastazya Piotrowska): When I get low I get high
Moderní swingové skupiny / Best modern swing bands
Larry Elgardt a jeho Manhattan Swing Orchestra: Hooked on swing
The Speakeasy Three (Francesca Kennedy, Ariella Steinberg, Nastazya Piotrowska): Minnie the moocher
Cab Calloway: Minnie The Moocher
Larry Marshall: Minnie The Moocher ve filmu Cotton Club (1984)
Cab Calloway: Jumpin Jive (1943)
Gunhild Carling: Summertime
The Andrew Sisters: Rum and Coca Cola (1973)
Hetty a Jazzato Band: Tu Vuo' Fa' L'Americano
Hetty a Jazzato Band: Volare (Nel Blu Dipinto di Blu)
Hetty a Jazzato Band: Tintarella Di Luna
Hetty a Jazzato Band: Mambo Italiano (složil Bob Merrill v r. 1954)
Hetty (Loxston) a Jazzato Band: Quando, Quando, Quando
The Chordettes: Lollipop a Mr. Sandman
The Speakeasy Three: When I get low, I get high Virginia Mayo: I'm gonna teach you some blues (z filmu A song is born 1948)
Z filmu A song is born (1948)
Louis Armstrong: What A Wonderful World
Righteous Brothers: Unchained Melody (s textem)
Righteous Brothers: Unchained Melody (s Demi Moore a Patrickem Swayze
Tony Orlando & Dawn: Tie a Yellow Ribbon Round the Ole Oak Tree (37. nejlepší písnička)
Ray Conniff: Tie a Yellow Ribbon Round the Ole Oak Tree (37. nejlepší písnička)
Dolly Parton: Where have all the flowers gone
Dolly Parton: I will always love you (1973)
Whitney Houston: I will always love you (1999)

Apocalypse Plough: Does anyone know the Elvis connection? Elvis wanted to cover it, and Dolly was thrilled. But Col. Parker, Elvis' manager, wanted 1/2 of the publishing royalties and Dolly said no. Smart move, because years later it was covered by Whitney. More proof Col. Parker was more into making money than he was into doing what was right for Elvis.
I don't understand the arguing here and elsewhere about which version is better, Dolly's or Whitney's. Songs are so subjective and personal, saying one version is better than another is like saying red is better than green. It's absurd. I like both, but 9 times out of 10 I'll choose the person who wrote it. I'm a singer-songwriter kind of person. So, I like Dolly's version more, but that doesn't mean you have to. Whitney made the song iconic.
Thy Golden Keeperz: ...when that crack head Whitney Houston did the cover, Dolly called to congratulate her, but Whitney hung up...

Petr: I am not surprised, Whitney was a friend of Winnie Mandela.

Loretta Lynn: Coal miner's daughter
Tatiana Eva-Marie a Avalon Jazz Band: La Mer
Charles Trenet: La Mer
Steeleye Span: All around my hat (1975)
Chuck Berry's greatest hits
Elvis Presley: It's now or never (1960)
Elvis: Unchained Melody
Elvis Presley's greatest hits
Teresa Brewer: Music, Music, Music (1950 hudba Stephan Weiss, slova Bernie Baum.)
Teresa Brewer: Music, Music, Music (1953)
Teresa Brewer: Music, Music, Music (1975)
Anton Karas: The Third Man Theme
Gene Vincent & His Blue Caps: Be bop a lula (1956)
ZZ Queen: Be bop a lula (Zlepšilo se to za 60 let?)
Pink Cadillac: Speedy Gonzales
Manolo Muñoz: Speedy Gonzales
Don McLean: American Pie 1971 (with comments)
The Turtles: Happy together 1967
Johnny Nash: I can see clearly now 1973
ZAZ: Qué vendrá
Mutter
Mutter (slova)
Bill Withers - Live In Concert BBC 1973
Eric Clapton: Layla (pro Pattie Boyd)
George Harrison: Something (také pro Pattie Boyd)
George Harrison: Something (1992)
George Harrison in 1997
The Beatles: I'll ollow the Sun
The Beatles: Honey pie
The Beatles: Honey pie
The Beatles: Help!
The Beatles: Yesterday
The Beatles: Yellow submarine
The Beatles: Girl
The Beatles: Michelle
The Beatles: Hey Jude
The Beatles: Hard day's night
The Beatles: Love me do
The Beatles: Can't buy me love (Live)
The Beatles: I want to hold your hand
The Beatles: All You Need Is Love
The Beatles: Hello Goodbye
Judy Garland: Somewhere over the rainbow z filmu The Wizard of Oz (1939) (HQ video)
Judy Garland: Get Happy (1950)
Judy Garland: Smoke gets in your eyes
Judy Garland: Swanee (24.9.1955)
Judy Garland: Swanee
Liza Minnelli: Life is a cabaret!
Madeline Kahn: I'm Tired z filmu Blazing saddles
Me'ol bamboo z filmu Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
Brenda Lee: I'm sorry (1960)
Connie Francis: Who's sorry now
ABBA (28', 1981)
ABBA: Money, Money, Money (Abba-dabba-doo 1976)
ABBA: Waterloo / I do,I do,I do,I do / SOS (Norway 1975)
Audrey Hepburn: Moon River z filmu Breakfast at Tiffany's
Sheila Blanco: Moon River
Roy Orbison: Oh, pretty woman (1990)
Nena: 99 Luftballons - English translation below
Nena: 99 Red Balloons - s textem
Nena: 99 Red Balloons
Johnny Horton: Battle of New Orleans - s textem
Confederate cong - I Wish I Was In Dixie Land
Battle hymn of the Republic
Johnny Cash: Battle hymn of the Republic
'Star spangled banner' as you've never heard it
Al Hirt: Java (1963)
Fats Domino: Blueberry Hill
Vladimír Putin: Blueberry Hill
Katjúša
Irýna Bílyk: Katjúša
Katjúša (Putinovo video)
Alexandrovci: Kozák cválá za Dunaj
Веселка: Танец-ползунец
Budovatelské písně ČSSR
Laurika Rauch: Stuur groete aan Mannetjies Roux (1990)
Adiga Shashan
Steve Martin a Kermit the Frog: Dueling Banjos
Mel Brooks a Anne Bancroft: Sweet Georgia Brown z filmu Být či nebýt
Monty Python: Always look on the bright side of life
Dinner for one (1963)
CBBC: Horrible Histories Song - World War 1 Cousins

Starší

Witold Giersz: Rondo alla turca (Mozart)
Pepe Romero: Hraje Harpo Marx (1945)
Pepe Romero: Concierto de Aranjuez (1939) by Joaquín Rodrigo (1901-1999)
Enrico Caruso: La Donna e Mobile
Enrico Caruso: Napoletana nel mondo
Enrico Caruso: Santa Lucia
Enrico Caruso: Vieni sul mar
Charlie Chaplin
Laurel and Hardy
Buster Keaton
Perličky stříbrného plátna
La Marseillaise (Casablanca)
Scott Joplin: Maple Leaf Rag
Gus Cannon: Walk Right In (1929)
Wanda Jackson: Walk Right In (1929)
The Rooftop Singers: Walk Right In (1929)
Sibirská Altaiská hudba
Seikilos Epitaph - nejstarší píseň na světě, okolo roku 200 před Kristem
Hurrian Hymn č. 6 - nejstarší melodie, okolo roku 1400 před Kristem

Nahoru
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Texty písniček / Paroles / Words

Jiří Suchý:
Jo vzduch byl plnej boje,jak jsem tak do něj pliv
ta slina byla moje a já byl ještě živ
a barva stejnokroje mě hřála po těle
jo vzduch byl plnej boje a byla neděle

Jo to jsem ještě žil,jo to jsem ještě žil
pak ale přiletěla lesklá a horká střela
uprostřed mého čela našla si mrcha cíl

Náhle si nebe kleklo na poraněnou zem
aniž by se co řeklo, smrt zjevila se všem
aniž by se co řeklo, pohasla slunce žár
rozpoutalo se peklo a Bůh si zakryl tvář

Já nevěděl jsem přesně, proč do rány jsem vlít
ačkoliv jsem tak děsně chtěl milovat a žít
a štěstí stálo těsně vedle mě celej čas
já nevěděl jsem přesně,proč náhle vzal ho ďas

Náš přeudatný oddíl se v jatka proměnil
a já se blátem brodil a o svý lásce snil
vždyť láska měla podíl i na ty smrti snad
kdybych se nenarodil, sotva bych asi pad
Milord (Translation below)
Allez venez! Milord
Vous asseoir à ma table
Il fait si froid dehors
Ici, c'est confortable
Laissez-vous faire, Milord
Et prenez bien vos aises
Vos peines sur mon cœur
Et vos pieds sur une chaise
Je vous connais, Milord
Vous ne m'avez jamais vue
Je ne suis qu'une fille du port
Une ombre de la rue...

Pourtant, je vous ai frôlé
Quand vous passiez hier
Vous n'étiez pas peu fier
Dame! le ciel vous comblait
Votre foulard de soie
Flottant sur vos épaules
Vous aviez le beau rôle
On aurait dit le roi
Vous marchiez en vainqueur
Au bras d'une demoiselle
Mon Dieu! qu'elle était belle
J'en ai froid dans le cœur...

Allez venez! Milord
Vous asseoir à ma table
Il fait si froid dehors
Ici, c'est confortable
Laissez-vous faire, Milord
Et prenez bien vos aises
Vos peines sur mon cœur
Et vos pieds sur une chaise
Je vous connais, Milord
Vous ne m'avez jamais vue
Je ne suis qu'une fille du port
Une ombre de la rue...

Dire qu'il suffit parfois
Qu'il y ait un navire
Pour que tout se déchire
Quand le navire s'en va
Il emmenait avec lui
La douce aux yeux si tendres
Qui n'a pas su comprendre
Qu'elle brisait votre vie
L'amour, ça fait pleurer
Comme quoi l'existence
Ça vous donne toutes les chances
Pour les reprendre après...

Allez venez! Milord
Vous avez l'air d'un môme
Laissez-vous faire, Milord
Venez dans mon royaume
Je soigne les remords
Je chante la romance
Je chante les milords
Qui n'ont pas eu de chance
Regardez-moi, Milord
Vous ne m'avez jamais vue...
Mais vous pleurez, Milord
Ça, j' l'aurais jamais cru.

Eh! bien voyons, Milord
Souriez-moi, Milord
Mieux que ça, un p'tit effort...
Voilà, c'est ça!
Allez riez! Milord
Allez chantez! Milord
Ta da da da...
Mais oui, dansez, Milord
Ta da da da...
Bravo! Milord...
Encore, Milord...
Ta da da da...

Translation of Milord by In Grid album (edited by P Varuch):
Do come, Milord
To sit at my table
It's so cold outside
Here, it is comfortable
Let it happen, Milord
And relax well
Your sorrows on my heart
And your feet on a chair
I know you, Milord
You never saw me
I am only a girl of the port
A shade of the street...
But I was very close to you
When you passed yesterday
You were not not very proud injury!
The sky filled you
Your silk scarf
Floating on your shoulders
You had the beautiful role
One would have said the king
You went as a winner
To the arm of a young
Lady, My God!
She was so beautiful
I am cold in the heart...
Do come, Milord
To sit at my table
It's so cold outside
Here, it is comfortable
Let it happen, Milord
And relax well
Your sorrows on my heart
And your feet on a chair
I know you, Milord
You never saw me
I am only a girl of the port
A shade of the street...
To say that it is
enough sometimes
That there is a ship
So that all tears
When the ship
from goes away
It took along with him
the soft one to the so tender eyes
Which does not have on including/understanding
That it broke your
life the love, that made cry
As what the existence That gives you all
the chances to take
them again after... Go come! Milord
You seem like a kid
Let it happen,
Milord, Come in my kingdom
I look after the remorses
I sing the love song
I sing the milords
Which did not have a
Look and chance me, Milord
You never saw me...
But you cry, Milord
That, I would ever have believed it
Eh! well let us see,
Milord, Smile at me,
Milord, Better than that,
a p' tit effort...
Here, here, here it is that!
Come and laugh, Milord!
Do sing, Milord!
And dance, Milord!
Your da da da...
Cheer up, Milord!
More, Milord!
Your da da da...
99 Luftballons (English translation - see the comment below)
German Text: Carlo Karges
Translation: Hyde Flippo
Musik: Uwe Fahrenkrog-Petersen

Have you some time for me,
then I'll sing a song for you
about 99 balloons
on their way to the horizon.
If you're perhaps thinking about me right now
then I'll sing a song for you
about 99 balloons
and that such a thing comes from such a thing.

99 balloons
on their way to the horizon
People think they're UFO's from space
so a general sent up
a fighter squadron after them
Sound the alarm if it's so
but there on the horizon were
only 99 balloons.

99 fighter jets
Each one's a great warrior
Thought they were Captain Kirk
then came a lot of fireworks
the neighbors didn't understand anything
and felt like they were being provoked
so they shot at the horizon
at 99 balloons.

99 war ministers
matches and gasoline canisters
They thought they were clever people
already smelled a nice bounty
Called for war and wanted power.
Man, who would've thought
that things would someday go so far
because of 99 balloons.

99 years of war
left no room for victors.
There are no more war ministers
nor any jet fighters.
Today I'm making my rounds
see the world lying in ruins.
I found a balloon,
think of you and let it fly (away).

Both the English and German versions of the song tell a story of 99 balloons floating into the air, triggering an apocalyptic overreaction by military forces. The music was composed by Uwe Fahrenkrog-Petersen, the keyboardist of Nena's band, while Karges wrote the original German lyrics.
Having achieved widespread success in Germanic Europe and Japan, plans were made for the band to take "99 Luftballons" international with an English version. Kevin McAlea wrote this version, titled "99 Red Balloons" (on an envelope, which he claims to still have), which has a more satirical tone than the original. The English version is not a direct translation of the German but contains a somewhat different set of lyrics.
Nena recorded "99 Red Balloons" despite their dissatisfaction with the lyrics, which they expressed in numerous magazine interviews in 1984. They, as with many of their fans, felt that the English rendition was not true to the meaning of its German original.
The song came during a period of escalating rhetoric and strategic maneuvering between the United States and the Soviet Union in the Cold War. In particular, its international chart success followed the United States deployment of Pershing II missiles in West Germany in January 1984 (in response to the Soviet deployment of new SS-20 nuclear missiles), which prompted protests across western Europe.
In der Weihnachtsbäckerei (English below)
gibt es manche Leckerei
Zwischen Mehl und Milch
macht so mancher Knilch
eine riesengroße Kleckerei.
In der Weihnachtsbäckerei
In der Weihnachtsbäckerei

Wo ist das Rezept geblieben
von den Plätzchen, die wir lieben?
wer hat das Rezept
verschleppt

Na, dann müssen wir es packen
einfach frei nach Schnauze backen
Schmeißt den Ofen an
ran!

In der Weihnachtsbäckerei
gibt es manche Leckerei
Zwischen Mehl und Milch
macht so mancher Knilch
eine riesengroße Kleckerei.
In der Weihnachtsbäckerei
In der Weihnachtsbäckerei

Brauchen wir nicht Schokolade,
Zucker, Honig und Succade
und ein bischen Zimt?
das stimmt.

Butter, Mehl und Milch verrühren
zwischendurch einmal probieren
und dann kommt das Ei
vorbei.

In der Weihnachtsbäckerei
gibt es manche Leckerei
Zwischen Mehl und Milch
macht so mancher Knilch
eine riesengroße Kleckerei.
In der Weihnachtsbäckerei
In der Weihnachtsbäckerei

Bitte mal zur Seite treten,
denn wir brauchen Platz zum kneten
Sind die Finger rein?
du Schwein!

Sind die Plätzchen, die wir stechen,
erstmal auf den Ofenblechen,
warten wir gespannt
verbrannt.

In der Weihnachtsbäckerei
gibt es manche Leckerei
Zwischen Mehl und Milch
macht so mancher Knilch
eine riesengroße Kleckerei.
In der Weihnachtsbäckerei
In der Weihnachtsbäckerei.

***

In The Christmas bakery
In the Christmas bakery
Are many yummy things
From flour to milk
Make one false move
And a great mess there will be!
In the Christmas bakery
In the Christmas bakery.

What happened to the recipe
Of those cookies we really love?
Was it...
Kidnapped?

Well, we've gotta go get it
Simply bake it by ear
Fire up the oven
Fast!

In the Christmas bakery
Are many yummy things
From flour to milk
Make one false move
And a great mess there will be! I
n the Christmas bakery
In the Christmas bakery.

No need for chocolate,
Sugar, honey, or candied fruits
A little bit of cinnamon?
Of course!

Mix the butter, flour, and milk together
And while you're at it, give it a taste
And now comes the egg
All done!

In the Christmas bakery
Are many yummy things
From flour to milk
Make one false move
And a great mess there will be!
In the Christmas bakery
In the Christmas bakery.

Please stand aside,
I need some room to knead
Did you stick your finger in there?
You pig!

All the cookies we've forked
Are now on the cookie sheet,
We wait anxiously
Burnt!

In the Christmas bakery
Are many yummy things
From flour to milk
Make one false move
And a great mess there will be!
In the Christmas bakery
In the Christmas bakery. Shani dělá české vánoce už 49 let, jen kapra nemáme, neprodává se tu - a zdejším rybníkům se nedá věřit, že jsou čisté. Dětem kapr moc nechutná a nadávají na kosti. Tak prostě máme jinou rybu. Letos jsem rozhodl, že kabeljou nebudeme kupovat, je to strašně drahá ryba, i když chuťově podobná kapru. Shani má na všechno naše rodinné recepty, např. dělá nejlepší bramborový salát a nejlepší štrúdl v Jižní Africe
Comments on the translation here

Je me suis fait tout petit
Je n'avais jamais ôté mon chapeau
Devant personne
Maintenant je rampe et je fais le beau
Quand elle me sonne
J'étais chien méchant, elle me fait manger
Dans sa menotte
J'avais des dents d'loup, je les ai changées
Pour des quenottes

Je m'suis fait tout petit devant une poupée
Qui ferme les yeux quand on la couche
Je m'suis fait tout petit devant une poupée
Qui fait "Maman" quand on la touche

J'étais dur à cuire, elle m'a converti
La fine mouche
Et je suis tombé tout chaud, tout rôti
Contre sa bouche
Qui a des dents de lait quand elle sourit
Quand elle chante
Et des dents de loup quand elle est furie
Qu'elle est méchante

Je m'suis fait tout petit devant une poupée
Qui ferme les yeux quand on la couche
Je m'suis fait tout petit devant une poupée
Qui fait "Maman" quand on la touche

Tous les somnambules
Tous les mages m'ont dit sans malice
Qu'en ses bras en croix
Je subirais mon dernier supplice
Il en est de pires il en est d'meilleures
Mais à tout prendre
Qu'on se pende ici, qu'on se pende ailleurs
S'il faut se pendre

Je m'suis fait tout petit devant une poupée
Qui ferme les yeux quand on la touche
Je m'suis fait tout petit devant une poupée
Qui fait "Maman" quand on la touche

I never needed to took off my hat
For anyone.
Now I am crawling, with both hands, I clap,
If she rings me once.
I was naughty hound. Now, in her palm hand,
she makes me come eat.
I had the wolf fangs, I have changed them
For lil baby teeth.

Made myself all small in front of a doll
Who shuts her eyes when one wants lay her.
Made myself all small in front of a doll
Who says "Mommy!" when one touches her.

I was a badass, by her converted,
Fly so dexterous*
And I was falling all hot, all roasted
So close to her mouth.
That has baby teeth when she is smiling,
When she is singing.
And the wolf sharp fangs when she is fury,
That she is so mean.

Made myself ...

I'm under her yoke, I softly walking,
Balance on tightropes.
Because, she's jealous beyond anything,
And even worse.
A periwinkle** appeared to me
Still more cute than she.
Pretty periwinkle one day is dead
Under blows of sunshade.

Made myself ...

All the sleepwalkers, all the magicians
Don't shenanigans.
Her arms crossed on me, annunciation
Of my last sufferance.
There are ones worse, there are ones better,
But in other hand,
Be hanged on here, be hanged elsewhere
If we'll be hanged.

Made myself all small in front of a doll
Who shuts her eyes when one wants lay her.
Made myself all small in front of a doll
Who says "Mommy!" when one touches her ...

Je n'avais jamais ôté mon chapeau
Devant personne
Maintenant je rampe et je fais le beau
Quand elle me sonne
J'étais chien méchant, elle me fait manger
Dans sa menotte
J'avais des dents d'loup, je les ai changées
Pour des quenottes

Je m'suis fait tout petit devant une poupée
Qui ferme les yeux quand on la couche
Je m'suis fait tout petit devant une poupée Qui fait "Maman" quand on la touche

J'étais dur à cuire, elle m'a converti
La fine mouche
Et je suis tombé tout chaud, tout rôti
Contre sa bouche
Qui a des dents de lait quand elle sourit
Quand elle chante
Et des dents de loup quand elle est furie
Qu'elle est méchante

Je m'suis fait tout petit devant une poupée
Qui ferme les yeux quand on la couche
Je m'suis fait tout petit devant une poupée
Qui fait "Maman" quand on la touche

Tous les somnambules
Tous les mages m'ont dit sans malice
Qu'en ses bras en croix
Je subirais mon dernier supplice
Il en est de pires il en est d'meilleures
Mais à tout prendre
Qu'on se pende ici, qu'on se pende ailleurs
S'il faut se pendre

Je m'suis fait tout petit devant une poupée
Qui ferme les yeux quand on la touche
Je m'suis fait tout petit devant une poupée
Qui fait "Maman" quand on la touche
_____________________________________________
* "fly" (the insect therefore) is in double ways here, "fine mouche" was used to name a good swordsman - the fly here refers to the little ball at the end of the sword to avoid serious injury to the opponent during tournaments -. But it also designate the fly which be used by aristocracy in XVIII century for face make-up - a small black point drawn on the cheek, close mouth.

** "Periwinkle" (Pervenche) This word in French indicates a woman police officer who draws up the reports of infraction of the highway code and more particularly, the bad parking. Their real name is "contractual" (contractuelle). But the French gave them the nickname "periwinkle" because of the color of their uniform similar to that of the flower.
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♫ Staré české a jiné písničky a humor ♫

Můj výběr

Jaroslav Ježek, Jiří Voskovec a Jan Werich

Jiří Suchý, Jiří Šlitr a jiní

Waldemar Matuška a j.

Eva Pilarová a j.

Helena Vondráčková a j.

Hana Hegerová a Édith Piafová

Marta Kubišová

České muzikály

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Scénky / Ivan Mládek

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Texty písniček / Paroles / Words